Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
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