he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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