Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
