Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I think I sprained my soul last night
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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