North Korea, Best Korea!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm too high and old for this...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
