he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
