Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize