I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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