its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
