I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize