My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
