I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
