I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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