why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize