my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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