Im at strip club and am horny
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
