I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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