i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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