Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's official drugs can't kill me
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
