how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
