You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she peed on how many people?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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