you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize