I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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