Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
