His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize