Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize