We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
