Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
