If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
