it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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