I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Who died my cat blue again?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
