@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
