thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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