Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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