I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
