i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
