this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
