that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
