He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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