Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
