so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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