is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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