I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize