yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
