I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
