I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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