My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
