You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
