Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i out mim tonsoeep
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