yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
