My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
