Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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