I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
