Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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