Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Randomize
