Apparently you make a good broom.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
