I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
