Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
