I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize