its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
