So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
