No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
