I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize