I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Randomize
