Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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