i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize