Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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