we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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