And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
