i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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