I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
