I got chris browned last night
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
