I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
