Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
