So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
