she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
