So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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