My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
